happy holidays guys
sorry I havent posted. been a little hectic since I have gotten to my parents. daily blogs will resume when I get back from this crazyness....hope everyone is having a wonderful holiday!
Friday, 23 December 2011
Sunday, 18 December 2011
December 18
Hey hey hey,
So today I have been a very good girl so far. Zero kCal!....cant believe its almost Christmas....being around family should be interesting, moms already asking me what she can stock the house with that I will eat...:S...going home to my parents place is always bittersweet, I love being home with friends and fam, but the stress of trying to stay on course is hard.
Going to start on my new Clenbuterol tomorow, will see how that goes, im excited!
If anything (aka me eating) happens tonight I will be sure to post so that you can be disappointed in me.
See you tomorow!
So today I have been a very good girl so far. Zero kCal!....cant believe its almost Christmas....being around family should be interesting, moms already asking me what she can stock the house with that I will eat...:S...going home to my parents place is always bittersweet, I love being home with friends and fam, but the stress of trying to stay on course is hard.
Going to start on my new Clenbuterol tomorow, will see how that goes, im excited!
If anything (aka me eating) happens tonight I will be sure to post so that you can be disappointed in me.
Saturday, 17 December 2011
saturday dec 17
Hey guys,
Sorry this post apparently didnt work properly!
My appologies for not posting yesterday, I was super tired and not feeling well when I got home from work (worked 9-3am) stressful night at work, drunk idiots.....
Pissed off at myself as well, I had a mini binge last night....had a big salad and a few perogies, which after looking up the calorie content isnt that bad but the feeling of my stomach being that full hurt and made me realise how easy it would be to become bulimic...the feeling in my stomach made me have to fight myself to not just want to purge it. I am so angry at myself for slipping up like that.
Today I have had half a can of light veg soup and a salad. Back on track almost I suppose.
Lettuce 24 cal
Soup 120 cal
Fat free zesty italian dressing 15 cal
Croutons 93 cal (want to stop adding these, unneccisary cals)
Talk to everyone tomorow :)
Thursday, 15 December 2011
Bad day....(day 2 december 16,2011)
Hello all,
Today has been a fairly sh*t day....overslept, let down a friend whose boyfriend was supposed to get a ride from me to get his g1....even though he is 22....
Also i had a let down last night when after I posted I decided to check in on my weight loss and I still have only lost 2 lbs.....gross.
So today, as much as I am aware that it is not the best, I have decided is a fasting day. I need to have a fasting day, increase my weight-loss as well as kind of disciplining myself for my mistakes. I have issues with personal harm....I figure it is much better to spend a day on water than to burn myself with a cigarette or cut myself....2 months SI free :)
I really hope that from this blog I find some sort of support....a buddy or something, so far my blog has only had two hits.....not that I was expecting anyone to actually find me interesting or want to read my thoughts but I had my hopes.
Oh well, another day another struggle.......
Talk to you tomorrow kids!
Today has been a fairly sh*t day....overslept, let down a friend whose boyfriend was supposed to get a ride from me to get his g1....even though he is 22....
Also i had a let down last night when after I posted I decided to check in on my weight loss and I still have only lost 2 lbs.....gross.
So today, as much as I am aware that it is not the best, I have decided is a fasting day. I need to have a fasting day, increase my weight-loss as well as kind of disciplining myself for my mistakes. I have issues with personal harm....I figure it is much better to spend a day on water than to burn myself with a cigarette or cut myself....2 months SI free :)
I really hope that from this blog I find some sort of support....a buddy or something, so far my blog has only had two hits.....not that I was expecting anyone to actually find me interesting or want to read my thoughts but I had my hopes.
Oh well, another day another struggle.......
Day one! December 15 2011
Hey Everyone, (not that anyone will read this)
Today is the start of my blog, figured seeing as I was unable to find any chat rooms that were able to pair me with a buddy or that kind of thing the only way I could think to keep myself motivated and on track was to create some kind of online *ana diary* lol.....that way at least I am liable to this if nothing else....regardless if it ends up just being me talking to a wall or otherwise.....
First off I realise that there are alot of views on this kind of thing....its unhealthy, etc.....
however I think that if you think you want to judge me based off my decisions in life you should probably know something about me first, which you do not. My life has been a constant struggle between severe clinical depression, anxiety, borderline personality disorder, pills in regards to those, and weight issues.
My whole life I was thin, regardless of diet, until I was prescribed zoloft.....it caused me to gain 40 lbs in a month! ....I know that the good answer would be to use healthy diet and excercise to fix this....however the meds F**ked my metabolism....and as many little tricks I tried....including seeing a diet counsilor...etc... nothing worked....so I did my first fast.
From that point on (I lost 25 lbs in 30 days) ...ana has been my only friend. Honestly if you choose to hate me and judge me now....I really dont care. I have put myself out there, if you dont see that I exhausted all other options first that is fine....however....I dont feel sick, I dont look sick, and I am happy!
I dont want this blog to be a trigger or to be a how-to guide for anyone....I just want somewhere to put my life out into the world to make myself liable......
*Read at ones own risk!*
Back to the point of my new blog
ITS MY HAPPY PLACE!
...hahaha.ha....
My name is Sarah, I am 24...
today I ate a salad that was three cups of lettuce and one cup of croutons (very unhappy with myself)....also one tbsp light creamy ceasar dressing to fork dip in....
is it sad that I am disgusted with myself because I consider this way to much to eat in one day? ANYWAYS...calorie break down:
Lettuce : 24 cal
Croutons: 186 cal (sh*t)
Dressing: 120 cal approx**
**when I approximate I always aim high point rather than the low...just to be safe and to make myself less likely to eat any extra!
In the future I may add some tips....and stuff...I am unsure because my goal isnt to help people get "sick"...lol....we will see.....depends also if anyone actually ends up following this I suppose....oh well.
See you tomorow!!!!!!! <3
Today is the start of my blog, figured seeing as I was unable to find any chat rooms that were able to pair me with a buddy or that kind of thing the only way I could think to keep myself motivated and on track was to create some kind of online *ana diary* lol.....that way at least I am liable to this if nothing else....regardless if it ends up just being me talking to a wall or otherwise.....
First off I realise that there are alot of views on this kind of thing....its unhealthy, etc.....
however I think that if you think you want to judge me based off my decisions in life you should probably know something about me first, which you do not. My life has been a constant struggle between severe clinical depression, anxiety, borderline personality disorder, pills in regards to those, and weight issues.
My whole life I was thin, regardless of diet, until I was prescribed zoloft.....it caused me to gain 40 lbs in a month! ....I know that the good answer would be to use healthy diet and excercise to fix this....however the meds F**ked my metabolism....and as many little tricks I tried....including seeing a diet counsilor...etc... nothing worked....so I did my first fast.
From that point on (I lost 25 lbs in 30 days) ...ana has been my only friend. Honestly if you choose to hate me and judge me now....I really dont care. I have put myself out there, if you dont see that I exhausted all other options first that is fine....however....I dont feel sick, I dont look sick, and I am happy!
I dont want this blog to be a trigger or to be a how-to guide for anyone....I just want somewhere to put my life out into the world to make myself liable......
*Read at ones own risk!*
Back to the point of my new blog
ITS MY HAPPY PLACE!
...hahaha.ha....
My name is Sarah, I am 24...
today I ate a salad that was three cups of lettuce and one cup of croutons (very unhappy with myself)....also one tbsp light creamy ceasar dressing to fork dip in....
is it sad that I am disgusted with myself because I consider this way to much to eat in one day? ANYWAYS...calorie break down:
Lettuce : 24 cal
Croutons: 186 cal (sh*t)
Dressing: 120 cal approx**
**when I approximate I always aim high point rather than the low...just to be safe and to make myself less likely to eat any extra!
In the future I may add some tips....and stuff...I am unsure because my goal isnt to help people get "sick"...lol....we will see.....depends also if anyone actually ends up following this I suppose....oh well.
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