Today is the start of my blog, figured seeing as I was unable to find any chat rooms that were able to pair me with a buddy or that kind of thing the only way I could think to keep myself motivated and on track was to create some kind of online *ana diary* lol.....that way at least I am liable to this if nothing else....regardless if it ends up just being me talking to a wall or otherwise.....
First off I realise that there are alot of views on this kind of thing....its unhealthy, etc.....
however I think that if you think you want to judge me based off my decisions in life you should probably know something about me first, which you do not. My life has been a constant struggle between severe clinical depression, anxiety, borderline personality disorder, pills in regards to those, and weight issues.
My whole life I was thin, regardless of diet, until I was prescribed zoloft.....it caused me to gain 40 lbs in a month! ....I know that the good answer would be to use healthy diet and excercise to fix this....however the meds F**ked my metabolism....and as many little tricks I tried....including seeing a diet counsilor...etc... nothing worked....so I did my first fast.
From that point on (I lost 25 lbs in 30 days) ...ana has been my only friend. Honestly if you choose to hate me and judge me now....I really dont care. I have put myself out there, if you dont see that I exhausted all other options first that is fine....however....I dont feel sick, I dont look sick, and I am happy!
I dont want this blog to be a trigger or to be a how-to guide for anyone....I just want somewhere to put my life out into the world to make myself liable......
*Read at ones own risk!*
Back to the point of my new blog
ITS MY HAPPY PLACE!
...hahaha.ha....
My name is Sarah, I am 24...
today I ate a salad that was three cups of lettuce and one cup of croutons (very unhappy with myself)....also one tbsp light creamy ceasar dressing to fork dip in....
is it sad that I am disgusted with myself because I consider this way to much to eat in one day? ANYWAYS...calorie break down:
Lettuce : 24 cal
Croutons: 186 cal (sh*t)
Dressing: 120 cal approx**
**when I approximate I always aim high point rather than the low...just to be safe and to make myself less likely to eat any extra!
In the future I may add some tips....and stuff...I am unsure because my goal isnt to help people get "sick"...lol....we will see.....depends also if anyone actually ends up following this I suppose....oh well.
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